Should You Leave The Memories Alone?

I know you’re seeing the word in the first line but don’t worry, this is not a wrestling blog. However, I need to give some backstory as to why this phrase is in my head. The date is March 31, 2008, a nine-year-old Walsh is sitting on his couch watching Monday Night Raw. This episode is notable because it ends with a farewell to legendary wrestler Ric Flair, who had wrestled his “last” match the night before at Wrestlemania XXIV. In the days that followed on other WWE programming, they would air a video package recapping his farewell and inserting moments from his career while the song “Leave The Memories Alone” by Fuel played. Flair did not leave the memories alone. He returned to the ring a year and a half later for a different promotion and would continue to wrestle sporadically until his most recent retirement match on July 31, 2022. He ruined it. He ruined everything. But not for me. I never watched any of the matches he was a part of since 2008 because I, unlike Mr. Flair, LISTEN to the life teachings of Fuel.

The song itself is not about a wrestler retiring but about a relationship. It is about not wanting to speak or reconnect with an ex-partner because it will change your perspective on the relationship. If you don’t learn anything new, the pictures in your mind can never become tainted. I like that. I have since been able to apply these life teachings to my relationship with music and artists that I’ve grown a connection with through their songs and live performances. The first time I had the idea to Fuel My Life™ was when Scary Kid Scaring Kids announced that they were coming out with a new album in 2022. SKSK is a band that I loved when I was beginning my journey into the post-hardcore and larger “heavy” music scene in my early teens. Their self-titled album is still one of my favorite post-hardcore/emo albums and I believe it is one of the best from the Golden Age Of Post-Hardcore/Emo (2002-2009). They broke up in 2010 and their lead singer Tyson Stevens tragically passed away in 2014. in 2019 they released the song “Loved Forever” as a tribute to Stevens, I listened to it and thought it was a very touching song that I liked very much. In 2022 they released a single “Knock It All Down (feat. Lil Lotus)” that would be on their upcoming album, I listened to it and didn’t like it. Every individual member of a band contributes to its identity and without any single member it will sound very different, this is especially true and most noticeable with the lead singer. When I heard the familiar instrumental style of SKSK, my brain wants to hear Tyson… but it didn’t and I couldn't bridge that dissonant gap in my mind. The next single released featured Spencer Charnas of Ice Nine Kills and I thought “Well, I like him so I’ll probably like this one” but I didn’t. I felt bad about it, I still feel bad about it because I want to be supportive of the rest of the members of the band that I fell in love with when I was fourteen.

I knew what I had to do, when the album came out I looked at the tracklist and saw that every song had a different feature including some major names in post-hardcore including Spencer Chamberlain, Cove Reber, Noah Sebastian, and Tyler Posey from Teen Wolf? and then I left the memories alone. Coming up on three years since its release I still haven’t listened to it and I gotta tell ya it’s an incredible feeling. It’s so freeing, I can do it with any band I want now Last Ten Seconds of Life? Fuck away from my memories! Bury Tomorrow? I will cherish your first six albums all by myself thank you very much! Linkin Park? Thats complicated and I don’t know enough to get into it here! Every band should be like my favorite band Hawthorne Heights. They experienced a tragedy in 2007 when their guitarist/screamer Casey Calvert passed away. Hawthorne Heights decided not to replace him with another guitarist, reducing the number of band members from five to four, and their next album Fragile Future would feature no screaming. They know how to Live With Fuel™ because they preserved the memories and nobody would have to be reminded of Casey when they listened to their music. Except when they sang about him, or later when the lead guitarist Micah Carli learned to scream. Does that mean that they aren’t honoring his legacy? Of course it doesn’t. Casey was a screamer, I imagine he would want their songs to contain screaming. Hawthorne Heights still has only four members and that’s a nice tribute but moving on doesn’t mean forgetting and it doesn’t mean that the memories are any different than when you formed them. Scary Kids Scaring Kids released an album with guest vocalists because they didn’t want to replace Tyson and that’s great, but if they want to add a new lead singer that should be supported as well.

Replacements don’t exist.

You can only add or subtract there can’t be a one-for-one equal exchange in art or life, that’s not how it works. Different isn’t necessarily good or bad it just is. You can still hold dear what used to be while acknowledging and hopefully celebrating what is. Some new stuff is bad don’t get me wrong but who am I to invalidate anything? Memories are what inform our present and no matter how people left our lives they still left their mark on who we are. A lot of bands have new members for a variety of reasons but past members in some way are still influencing the art that the band creates. I won’t like a lot of things that bands with new members put out and I will like a lot as well. I should listen not only because I respect what the artists have done but also because I owe it to myself to allow myself to give things a chance. The memories will always be what they are and the only thing trying to preserve them does is prevent you from making new ones and growing as a person. Maybe that’s what Fuel has been trying to tell me this whole time…

Well shit, I guess I have some listening to do.